I am interested in a complex set of relationships within the subject that influence and order subjective experience. The “subject” is more often implicated by its actions, drives, and desires, rather than experienced as a distinct and separate entity. My paintings offer an arena for my actions, drives and desires to display themselves. The paintings record every gesture without judgment. The transience of a gesture is held and made visible. I betray myself or “self” both consciously and unconsciously through the movements of my body. The paint remains as a memory, a fixed point of reference to a body’s presence, time spent, a momentary act of reflection or a “state of consciousness.”
What we abstract from subjective experience at any moment is merely a fragmentary oscillation. I have ordered my working methodologies to account for and make apparent features and relationships within these movements. There are periods in my work when I immerse myself in sensuous unmediated movements of perception in order to experience direct sensation. There are other movements when I fully embrace the preconscious structures of language and the social other.

I often utilize both methods of working within the same picture plane. I use these methods at different stages of a work. By brining together both methods, I establish a relationship between mediated and unmediated ways of working. Because these processes flow directly out of psychic states, it is implicit that on some level I am visually representing a relationship between these states. I often directly respond to marks made from previous states. I move back and forth between methods of working, leaving a build-up of residue on the surface. Whether the relationship that results is visually apparent or completely buried under a history of painted movements, a differential relationship has occurred and continues to occur within the work. Through careful inquiry and observation, I become aware of the implications of my paintings. Through fluid sets of unexpected associations I gain awareness of myself and the structures that influence and organize my experience.

 

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